Perfectionism- An Emotional Poverty

A recent submission:

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 Perfectionism- An Emotional Poverty

Just the other day, I realized a great truth about something that has been a part of my life ever since I can remember- perfectionism. I wrote this note:

"I've struggled with perfectionism most of my life- and even after I have tried to give it up, I still find it in other areas of my life that, after realizing its there, I wish it weren't. I see how ugly it is once its brought into the light and is used in relationships. I've realized that, most of the time, it causes separation, not growth in community- because Jesus didn't call me to be perfect. He called me to do my best and to love others. I'm learning to deal with perfectionism. And tonight Jesus just revealed to me that perfectionism is an emotional poverty- it alienates, it degrades, it is not what Jesus has planned for us. As creative people. As his followers. As leaders. As servants. And it robs me of the ability to perceive something as beautiful; In order to meet my unattainable goals, I always strive for more and never give myself the chance to just sit down, look at the work that has been done, and call it good. And perceive its beauty. And rest in it. I hate to think of all the situations where I have missed out on a gift Christ was trying to give me because I didn't think it was good enough. That makes me so sad to think of. How many relationships have been hurt by the fact that I expect way more of myself and others than even Christ expects? I am praying for times in the future where I will finally begin to understand the phrase "share in my joy." How many times have I missed that chance in my life? Countless I'm sure. Perfectionism- what is its root? Pride. MY idea. MY worth. MY standard. It asks more of people than even Christ asks of them, and who has the right to do that? No one. (even though most of the time I act as if I do.) So. I'm really sorry Jesus for asking more than you expect me to. And for thinking I have to be anything more than just Your child who rests and delights in Your ways and Your plan and Your life and love. You are enough. Please rid me continually of the assertions in my mind that something must be perfect to be seen as beautiful. It's a disgrace to Your kingdom and Your work that you finished- you already called it "good". Why do I have to double check it? Love you Jesus."

Then just today, God showed me this beautiful truth that has given me freedom:

I expect so much of others and judge others and expect them to be perfect only because I am so judgmental of myself.

 I had never realized that before. I am constantly judging myself. And that is the root of my perfectionism. WE ARE NOT CREATED TO JUDGE OURSELVES. I never knew that! (Let alone lived it!) I had been telling myself lies for my whole entire life- that I wasn't working hard enough, that I was making too many mistakes, that if I don't get it right, I won't succeed, that I have to succeed to be loved and be worthy- all of these things that go through the mind of perfectionists constantly. (If you've struggled with perfectionism, you probably know exactly what I mean.) Even if I don't realize it's happening, all of these thoughts are constantly going through my head. BUT THEY DON'T HAVE TO! Who knew?! Paul to the Corinthians said "I don't even put myself of trial and judge myself." (1 Cor. 4:3). And he's one of my favorite apostles who I view a "perfect" example. And he didn't even judge himself! That brings me true freedom. That I don't have to judge myself- that God loves me and I am created to be loved no matter how many mistakes I make or how many accusations I hold against myself.

I am so thankful for the people in my life who have been merciful to me when I am so hard on them. I pray that they know that I am thankful for them. Because the only reason I was so harsh on them was because I held the same view of myself- that nothing I could do would ever be good enough.

So if you are a perfectionist- Is your soul weary?

HAVE MERCY ON YOURSELF AND LET OTHERS BE MERCIFUL TOWARD YOU AND SOAK IN YOUR MISTAKES- TAKE THEM AS A CHANCE TO GROW. Let Christ lead you into freedom. He doesn't even judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. He loves you tremendously. And anything you do that you think is right or wrong or whatever- it doesn’t matter. Let Christ lead you.

A long time ago I tried dancing- swing dancing to be exact. And I could never let the guy lead. It just never worked. And now I realize- it was because I was trying to make it be perfect. If I just let the Leader lead and just go along for the ride, I will probably have much more fun dancing and actually enjoy myself along the way. You- cut yourself some slack. You are loved. The dance might be intricate but the Leader knows the steps. Just follow along.

So if you know someone who is a perfectionist or who expects more out of you than you ever think should be expected- please remember to have mercy on them. They are dealing with a great poverty. It might just be that, like me, the only reason they are harsh toward you is because they are even more hard on themselves than they are on you. Please love them and show them the Grace of God as they learn to love themselves (mistakes and all) and love others! Thank you for showing mercy. It will change someone's life one day. Amen.

YOU WEREN'T CREATED TO BE PERFECT. YOU WERE CREATED TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. A TYPE OF LOVE THAT COVERS ALL MISTAKES. 

"I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." -Jesus Christ, my King, Vindicator, and Merciful Always-Loving Judge

Struggle with perfectionism? This video helped bring me so much freedom:

http://www.joycemeyer.org/BroadcastHome.aspx?video=Doubt_Hinders_Boldness_%E2%80%93_Pt_2

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Have any comments, responses, or thoughts about this submission? Ode would love to hear your thoughts or have you submit something as well! Email us at ode@odetotheforgotten.org

I Am Who You Write About

I Am Who You Write About

I AM ABOUT WHO YOU COIN A PHRASE

I AM WHY YOU PUT PEN TO PAGE

YOU LOOK AT ME BUT DON’T SEE

YOU SHARE COFFEE AND HOPES AND DREAMS

BUT YOU DON’T KNOW ME

THE BEATINGS THE BRUISES ON INSIDE NOT OUT

THE CONFUSION THE CHAOS THE DISBELIEF AND THE DOUBT

YOU POUR OUT YOUR HEART TO THE POOR AND THE WEAK

BUT WHEN YOU COME HOME IT’S PERFECTION YOU SEEK

We are just people like those that you pass

We don’t hold cardboard signs or do coke or ask for cash

We politely wash clothes and dishes and dreams

And do our best to sew up the seams

Of the unraveled lives where others cause pain

With personal grudges agendas and gains

You don’t stop to see how this affects those the most

The ones who would give up at all cost their hopes

The dreams set aside to further HIS REIGN

The sleepless nights the unending strain

For your dreams to blossom

For your wings to spread

To impact the masses with what’s needed to be said

But impatiently we wait for peace and for calm

For small bits and pieces of promises to come

Of a future a family a connection with those

That goes beyond worldly boundaries and normal repose

A nucleus of people, a chain with no end

Unbrakeable, unbeatable where satan can’t bend

Safe and sound without all the stress

A place without judgment but with peace and rest

I AM just a MOM and I’m doing my best

by M.H.

Submission- What's Wrong With You?

 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

by A.T.

What is wrong with you?  What is the matter?  These questions seem plausible and yes may even make sense.  But not to someone that is suffering.  Suffering heart and mind that satin has begun to sing his song to and confuse.  The war wages on.  The thoughts that Satan begins to whisper…something is wrong with you.  Can’t you see?  Everyone sees you are broken.  You are not really healed it was all a dream.  Those thoughts you thought you conquered are still there.  See I hold the key to your mind and I know what others really think and better yet what you think of yourself.  The war…yes the war wages on.  God is whispering back, using friends and family, devotions and all to try to reach you so that you do not fall.  God is telling you all this is a lie…listen to me my child I will not let you die.  The war wages on.  Satan continues to drop more thoughts that no one will want you…not the real you.  Not the you that is flawed from all that has been done to you from those I put in your path.   You are damaged goods you see…I made you that way from placing upon you over and over the betrayal and the lies in men and friends you dared to trust.  The war wages on.  God begins to get angry with Satan as the lies begin to set root and diminish the glow that He wants His child to show.  He continues to tell you…listen to me…listen to me.  You are not a mistake, you are made whole through me.  I’m so sorry for all that has happened to you but I will use this to make you new.  I will use the trials and tribulations to set foot in a new nation.  I will use you to speak to those that suffer through the pains in which you endured.  To show a light and a salvation that can only come from me…so please my dear don’t give in…don’t listen to Satan.  You are more…you were created with a divine purpose in mind.  You must focus on my voice…no other…no one from the outside world that is making you question your worth, no one from the outside world that simply does not know what you have endured…no you must listen…to the creator…the one that designed you.  I am the one that knows the truth, the way and the light.  And you my child are a pure delight.  You may not be able to explain the thoughts, the fears and the feelings to those upon this earth, but I am your Lord Father and I know every step and every verb.  You need not explain to me…I already know and your comforts are with me.   The war will wage on but you must remember that the war has already been won…the death upon the cross of my son.  This war set you free don’t you see?  Yes Satan will not let up, he will scheme and plan and try to make you suffer, he will tell you lies and send more to cause pain to take you under.  But this is not the end.  Remember this when the storms come and seem to linger.  “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”      

Submission- The Loss

THE LOSS 

by CIGV

I lost it!

I caught a glimpse of it

In the giggle of a toddler,

And again in the wagging

Of his puppy’s tail

Then it was gone.

I lost it.

But a glint in an old man’s eye

As he met his “bride” in the park;

Sent a hint of it.

She had it, too.

I lost it again.

Had I lost it?

Yet there in the glow

Of a brilliant sunset,

It spiraled again.

Soon to be gone again.

It was lost again

Until the soaring notes

Of a choral harmonized hymn

Carried it to the “Amen”.

But I lost it.

I lost it in the dark of night,

In the pain of grief,

In the drudgery of

Of so   many days…

I lost it.

I lost it

Even in the bright sunrise,

The gentle splashing of the rain,

The quiet muting of the snow,

I still lost it.

I had lost it, I was sure.

It would never come again to me,

Now colorless, muted,

Sadly…

It was gone from me.

Lost…

I sat on a park bench,

Glumly contemplating

The trampled path,

The bits of trash,

The distant noise…

I knew it was gone.                                                             

So I said to myself,

“It’s lost…accept it.

Live with what you

Have left.

Take a step,

It’s time to move on!”

I began to amble along,

Then, I walked a little

More upright.

I picked up the pace

And started to run..

But then I stopped.

I stopped because

I saw it!.

Glinting in the sunlight

Through the branches,

In the eyes of the terrier

When the moth light on his nose.

In the splashing water

Of the fountain…

Children playing.

It had come back!

It had come back to me.

The JOY I had lost.

The Joy of life.

The evidences of God’s love

Had come back to me.

I had never really lost it..

Only failed to see!

 

Lend Free CD Release Event was a HUGE Success!

Thanks to everyone who came out last night to our CD release party! We raised some major funds for our upcoming series of events: The Lend Free Event Series. Each event will be focused around a different social issue - Homelessness, Hunger, and Emotional Poverty. More about this event series still to come so stay tuned!

We also had a silent art auction last night. The Ode staff was blown away by the amazing work done by local Indianapolis artists who were gracious enough to donate their time and talent to our cause. Each piece was inspired by the Lend Free album cover and poem. Pictures of these amazing works will be posted in the submissions section of the site.

Live performances of songs and poems from the CD were performed. We also were blessed to have Ty Bush and Fred Miller perform some original work for the event. Thanks so much for coming out!

Also, a huge shoutout to Simply Sweet Shoppe for allowing us to use their space. 20% of the candy sold from last night was donated to Ode to the Forgotten. Thank you all so much! Head over to their website and take a visit over there sometime soon.

We also featured the I AM... art series with our I AM... chalk board photobooth. Visitors were given the opportunity to write an I AM... phrase that reflects something that they may struggle with on a day to day basis. Whether it be "I AM... loved, brave, bold, beautiful, worth it..." or something of their own. Then, they took a picture with that word. The picture serves as a reminder that they are indeed loved, brave, hopeful, beautiful - even if they may not feel like it. Check out more information about the I AM... art series here!

Remember! Lend Free is available on CDBaby.com and will soon be available on iTunes and Amazon!

Thanks again so  much to everyone who came out to support Ode to the Forgotten as we raise funds to become an official 501c3 non-profit organization and start gearing up for our next event series!

Lend Free,

Ode to the Forgotten

NEW! Lend Free CD coming out on June 1st!

The new Lend Free CD features some amazing music and poetry! These songs and poems are meant to educate, inform, and inspire people to get involved in their local communities to combat poverty! The CD will be available on iTunes and Amazon June 1st! Check out our promo video below! And share it with your friends!

Beyond Perceptions 2012

The Indianapolis Art Center was gracious enough to have us at the annual Beyond Perceptions Art Exhibition! As an extension of the

I AM... art series, we encouraged those checking out the awesome artwork to make some of their own! Each person held up a sign with word that represents something they truly are, something they struggle with, or just something fun! These pictures are meant to serve as reminders that you truly are loved, brave, hopeful, confident... even when you may not feel like it. Thanks, Indianapolis Art Center! We had a blast!